Beatnuts Bomb in T-Dot

OLD SCHOOL THROWBACKS OUTSHINED BY FEMALE AUDIENCE 'DANCERS'

It's always nice to be invited to tag along to a show you know will not be like the regular urban yawnfests in T-dot. Gone are the days of head noddy, lyrically driven shows that Toronto used to be famous for. Back in the day, the Concert Hall was infamous for holding shows that surpassed all others in terms of real hip hop. New York crews had Toronto on their regular touring schedule as the city developed one of the most elite reputations for being a destination that knew what good hip hop was. This high standard soon manifested the label 'Screwface Captial', a moniker born out of audiences who were non reactionary whenever a sub par lyricist came into town.

The Beatnuts, while not being the most lyrical crew in hip hop, maintained a certain credibility due to the stellar beats by JuJu who had crafted gems for the likes of MC Lyte, Pete Nice and Common. Their flow was always nice though - a tight, party type vibe without the filler bullshit and nonsense waste lines.

The show was taking place at Sound Academy. Ever since the smurf village on Toronto Island muscled out The Docks Night Club, the new management have slowly developed a reputation for being overly strict and unimaginative when it came to events. Promoters in Toronto who have been around for a while seemed to have stayed away from Sound Academy, forcing the otherwise ideal venue to find creative ways to make money throwing live events. While the show itself was promoted by the normally reliable REMG Entertainment, the production partner was either not experienced or had one of their worst days in the company's existence. In fact, it was surprising to know that REMG was involved in any capacity, as the crowd was sparse and did not reflect the skills of one of the country's best urban promotions and events firm. Enter push.ca.

I had never heard of this web site but was intrigued to learn the event was more than just a hip hop throwback show. The Push Payout, as it was suspiciously dubbed, also claimed to have a skateboarding contest thrown in the mix, promising to pay cash to the skater with the best trick. A dismal failure in event production, the ramp was positioned to the right of the club, squished beside a wall and featuring jumps that grandma could land. As it turned out, grandma would have won first place as none of the skaters even landed a trick, leaving the host, whoever it was, scrambling to come up with not-so-witty banter on the spot. Nice try, but no.

The opening act was a testament to how nepotism can backfire...badly. Jeremy Chambers, younger sibling of FLOW 93.5 DJ Jayson Chambers, was beyond weak; one of them painful rappers with an overzealous mic man that had the Screwface Captial racing for the smoking patio. See, in Toronto, the underground heads know hip hop, and FLOW isn't hip hop, so why would a rookie with a brother at FLOW seem like a good idea? The answer: the industry in Canada is run by dummies. Watered down, wanna-be businessmen without a clue in the world what the market is looking for. Unfortunately, this lack of understanding leaked its way into the set of the Beatnuts.

My friend and I squirreled our way to the front of the show, leaned up against the railing and waited for the show to begin. Psycho and JuJu came out with good energy, leading off with tracks I don't know the name of but getting the crowd as involved as you can in Toronto. As the set progressed they reverted, smartly, back to their old school classics and the crowd looked like it had been won over.

And then it happened.

I've been to hip hop shows in New York, Miami, Los Angeles and Houston. I can tell you that at almost every show, depending on the artist, random ladies from the audiences almost always end up on stage, droppin' it like its heavy while rappers circle them and spit out their lyrics for the millionth time. It is a facet of hip hop i have tried to learn how to live with. But in Toronto, not only do you lack the scantily clad women normally associated with this silly ritual, but the crowd will stop nodding their heads and begin to focus their attention on just how stupid these people look behind what is supposed to be a semi-reputable hip hop crew. It was more than painful to watch. Drunk girls falling, girls dancing badly (picture the chicken dance, urban style), and two distinct females who obviously thought that this would be their 'big break'. The crowd in the front row began calling for the Beatnuts to eject the 'Toronto Hos' from the stage but ignored these calls - likely feeling the effects of the Hennesey they were drinking on stage.

The Toronto Ho spectacle, and that's exactly what it was, lasted, get this, 45 minutes. That's right - these unskilled, conservatively dressed, drunk, sloppy, starry eyed "dancers" spent the better part of an hour distracting the crowd from what could have been a half decent show, not to mention a saving grace from an otherwise horrid event thrown by www.push.ca.

To top things off, the over excited lone security guard at the front of the stage was exercising Nazi-like tactics to those who sparked up a blunt here and there, demanding they put it out or get ejected. Perhaps someone forgot to tell him that enforcing a no weed policy at a hip hop show is like trying to get a Tiesto crowd to just get high on life. Right.

Next time, leave the ramp at home, turn a blind eye to a hip hop staple requirement and book Mos Def.